I just want this to get it out of my chest. Well, literally and figuratively.

Last December, I was admitted to the hospital due to excessive vomiting. Excessive—as in vomiting every 20 mins. Up to the point that I’m having a hard time swallowing food and medicines so they had to do it intravenously (I don’t really like the hospital and IVs are the most uncomfortable thing for me but for the sake of getting well… I had to endure it).

I got better. Or so I thought.

Then, the following weeks it gets harder and harder for me to swallow food. Heck, drinking water is also a struggle. And still, I refuse to go to the hospital. (Mind you, I live alone.) I’ve had moments like these before but not to an extent that I get heartburn and all that… everyday!

Do you know how exhausting it is to eat and throw up everything?

Money and food be like: Am I a joke to you?

This is still not the point that I’m trying to convey, haha. I went to the hospital yesterday and had my check-up and it was confirmed that is indeed GERD. Still, I have to do a more thorough diagnosis for the best possible treatment but, for now, I was prescribed with medicines (meds are so damn expensive TT^TT)

Anyway, I am saying all this because my current supervisor in the laboratory is so… I don’t even know how to describe her. Manipulative, Liar (okay, i don’t know how to put this but she has her own way of twisting one’s words), she also has this annoying habit of micromanaging your work. Can she show a little bit of… i don’t know, empathy?

“I can’t go to work because I have a check-up.”

What part of what I said did she not understand? MY HEALTH IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE DUE DATE OF MY ANALYSIS. Okay? Those can wait but my health can’t.

I am so pissed. I just had to endure 2 more months and I’m done.

Sorry, this isn’t a review.

Have a good day.


The 8-year Engagement (2017)

It was almost in the 12 midnight when I came across this movie. I just can’t sleep and decided to give this a shot.

That was when I made a grave mistake! This is not just a tear-jerking movie, I WAS BAWLING MY EYES OUT HALFWAY THROUGH THE DRAMA. I can’t go to work looking like a homeless babboon with her eyes all red and swollen. Now, I am writing this not just to tell you how deeply my heart has been moved by this movie but also to warn you not to watch this at midnight. Because.. no amount of concealer can hide those pesky eyes of yours the next day.

Ha! Okay. Moving on.

[Note: This movie was based on a true story.]

This movie didn’t highlight the romance part that much—it was brief yet you can still feel the depth of love of Hisashi (Takeru Satoh) to Mai (Tao Tsuchiya). Just when they were about to get married, Mai suddenly have seizures and hallucinations which led her to fall into a years-long coma. This is what they call a human vegetable.

The main focus of the movie was the lovers’ journey from Mai in her coma state to her recovery. As soon as she woke up, she could not remember who Hisashi was! Oh, the agony. It actually broke my heart.

You know what, I kind of envy Mai here. She has someone who loves her that much. To love and be loved— I’ve always wondered how that feels like.

I’ve never had my first love. Nor my first heartbreak. Yes, I’ve liked someone before but not to an extent that I want to spend this lifetime with him. It’s just… a meaningless hormonal response.

Okay, okay. Must stop now. I always tend to rant my thoughts while I’m doing a review of some sort. Not that I am watching a movie for the sake of reviewing it. But I watch movies and dramas to understand this world more and… most of the time, I’m just bored.

Basically, that’s it. Just see the movie yourself.

Love Rerun

I’ve finished this drama last December 2018. And while I’m at it, I’ll just leave my thoughts here.

I have no idea how I found this drama, probably, that was just me being bored—endlessly scrolling through craploads of random articles on the internet. Still, this drama found its way to me. Why do I always start my post with my random musings? Just why?

[This may or may not contain spoilers. Proceed at your own risk.]

Wasted potential.

That’s all I can say. It started of great but, sadly, everything just went down the drain. The story revolves around Sayaka Minami (Nakamura Anne) when she woke up inside the room of a half-naked guy, Machida Shohei (Yuki Furukawa) who she have never met. Or that was the case, 3 months ago.

She’s no longer a virgin.

The guy in the flat was apprently her ex-boyfriend and they just broke up a day before she had forgotten her memories.

And.. surprise, she’s no longer a nerd. It may seem cliché, but, every girl needs a massive makeover after a breakup.

Still, I gave this drama a chance (hello? Yuki Furukawa?) because I thought the plot was interesting! Really! I was curious on how will things unfold as she tries to recover her lost memories from 3 months ago, will she like who she had become? Or is it going to be better to just forget? Considering she had recently suffered from a heartbreak? Actually, I thought that was primarily the reason why she had lost her memories.

Ohh, the pain.

I don’t understand the point of this drama at all. There were a lot of loose ends! And, c’mon man, I liked Yuki as Naoki but he needs to be more than just a guy with a stoic face in this drama. I wanted him to express his self more.

The last episode was arghhh. It was extremely lacking of romance for a romantic drama. Or maybe, that’s just me.

But give this drama a try, you might like it.

Todome no Kiss

Where to start?

I used to have a blog wherein I post my poems but I had it deleted 2 years ago (i had so much going on at that time and decided to delete all my social media accounts…permanently).

Now, I’m back. Back at it again with a brand new blog with a purpose—to write reviews for the dramas I’ve watched because I have no one to share my thoughts with. Sad, isn’t it? Just because… you know, I’ve pretty much isolated myself from the world.

Okay.. focus. This is a review– not your diary.


Enough said. Just kidding. I am so sorry but Kento was the sole reason why I decided to give this drama a go. And man, I kid you not, this drama is so good. If you have a lot of time to spare, watch this drama! Surely, you’ll binge-watch this in one sitting.

Friendly reminder: watch this on a weekend, specifically, sunday morning. This drama has 10 episodes only (approx. 45 min each), it’s so good you never want to stop. Then, don’t.

Anyway, the first episode has that 50-first-episodes vibes. You’ll get this once you watched it. (I am trying my hardest to give you the best possible review without spoiling you, guys. This is soooo hard!). While I was watching, I kept screaming, “what’s happening?” “The hell is wrong with that girl?” “Why is she on a santa claus costume?”. As the drama goes on, you just kept on wanting to know what will happen next. Like a puppy waiting for its master.

If you’re into some kind of psychological or mentally challenging drama, you better give this a try. From cinematography to sound effects, everything was just in place.

Something I’ve realised, and I’ll just leave this here:

“It’s the journey that matters, not the destination.”

Nothing ever ends well, if all that you’re after is money and power.”

Let this end with me commending Kento for portraying his character well. Dang, this guy.

If you’re reading this, please let me know your thoughts and leave a comment or send me an e-mail. Whichever is convenient.

Same old new year

Have you ever had that feeling you just wanted to jump on the 42nd floor of your condominium, but don’t actually want to and you don’t really do it.

“I could jump and die right now but no one would care…”

Well, you’re not alone.

And it’s pretty common more than you think… l’appel du vide in French–the call of the void.

Okay, I admit it. I do have anxiety and I often get suicidal thoughts but, really, it’s just an urge. I can never do it.

Though there was this time when I almost.. I almost jump! My urge to jump was so high that I was an inch away from death. Then, at that moment, I came back to my senses and I was like… what was I thinking?

Weird, but, this phenomenon is a way of our brain to appreciate this short life that was bestowed upon us.

Why am I talking about this l’appel du vide, mind you, this is my first blog post. When I was coming up with url for my blog, I thought of this french term (sadly, it is unavailable), and ended up with this username. What a shame. Ha! So, yeah, that’s it.

Going back, this short life that we have— let’s enjoy and savour it. Live your life to the fullest. Do the things you love.

And a blessed new year to you.

PS: While you’re at it, listen to L’appel du vide by Polaris (if you’re into that genre, well just do it man!)